In the past few days, one of the most-listened to songs on my iPod has been “From the Inside Out” by Hillsong.
I’ve been thinking a lot about change. I’ve been thinking about what it takes to radically reshape your life, and how to set yourself on the path for substantial yet sustainable self-improvement. My number one value is self-development, and that priority is what drives me to obsessively experiment and learn about how I can make myself a better person every day.
This post centers on the foundation that change comes from the inside out. Here is an outline:
- Change is a choice
- Change is a challenge
- Change is a chase
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Change Comes from the Inside Out
I don’t usually write posts about faith, but today is an exception. First, a verse that has been on my mind a lot:
“I myself no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” Galations 2:20, NLT
Now, some of the lyrics that really speak to me in “From the Inside Out”:
My heart and my soul, I give you control
Consume from the inside out Lord
Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise
Those four lines perfectly capture what it means to be consumed from the inside out:
- Giving up control of our heart and soul
- Putting God’s will above all else
- “Losing” yourself to praise God
Whether you’re a Christian or not, this idea of being consumed can apply to any part of life. As psychology points out, change does not sustain itself unless it comes from the inside. Intrinsic motivation is powerful enough to make up for no extrinsic motivation, but extrinsic motivation can never make up for an absence of intrinsic motivation. If you want to truly change your life, you’ve got to work from the inside-out.
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1. Change is a Choice
A while ago I read a book called The Now Habit, which outlined how to overcome procrastination and enjoy guilt-free play. One of the points that really stood out to me was that you have to be firm on yourself with your choices. In an earlier post I wrote about decisions. Decisions, conscious or unconscious, determine our direction. Procrastinating doesn’t always start as a choice, but you can choose to make your number one priority. One of the most powerful but simple methods to overcome procrastination is to firmly say to yourself: “I choose to do this now. I choose to make this a priority, and I choose to not postpone it any longer”. We can’t choose what happens to us, but we can choose what we do about it. As the famous quote goes, “You can’t change the cards you’re dealt, just how you play the hand.”
Change has to begin with a choice. You have to choose to commit to a new direction, and to follow a different path. This choice is the foundation of change; it’s a step you can’t skip and it’s absolutely pivotal if you want to change to last.
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2. Change is a Challenge
Change, especially things that are “life-changing” choices, are far from easy. Our mind is hard-wired to follow habits, and one of the most difficult tasks for us is to overcome unwanted habits. When I took Human Performance (Psych 201) over the summer, one of our exercises was to break a bad habit over two weeks, which is considered the minimum amount of time of consistent behavior to break a habit or form a new one.
By nature, we’re afraid of change. It’s easy to get stuck in a self-propagating cycle of familiarity and what we’re comfortable with. If we kept thing the same, our lives would be reasonably predictable and we would know what to expect. Change is a challenge because it’s uncomfortable and because we don’t know what the outcome will be.
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3. Change is a Chase
Change isn’t something you can do overnight or something that is done with the snap of your fingers. Change is a journey, one that can take several years. Change isn’t static, it’s elusively dynamic and a constant effort. Not doing anything is just as bad as resisting change. You’ve got to fight to stay in the chase and persevere.
The chase can be frustrating. Sometimes you’ll feel like you’re running after a carrot on a stick; spinning your wheels but moving nowhere. Sometimes, change will be an uphill battle against merciless rain and brutal winds. Other times, it will be a smooth cruise downhill. Regardless, you’ve got to stay on the path. What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, and even taking the initiative to change is enough to begin your momentum.
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Change Comes from the Inside Out
Change is not easy. It’s a choice, it’s a challenge, and it’s a chase. Real change must come from the inside out.
What I’ve written about isn’t just for changing yourself, but also for changing the world and the people around you. In Simon Sinek’s book “Start with Why”, he talks about how the most important thing businesses and organizations can communicate is the “why” (not the “what” or “how”) behind what they do. The “why” is difficult to put into words, but it is the most important. Below is what Sinek calls “The Golden Circle”. It parallels the biology of our minds. The deepest but most influential regions consist of the “why”. Our values, morals, and deepest principles all reside here. A key point about this area is that it is difficult to put into words.
The few businesses that have been successful at reaching this region have achieved remarkable success. Think about it this way: you meet someone new. Finding out “what” they do gives you a decent idea of who they are, but you only only scratch the surface in terms of understanding their character. Find out “why” they do what they do, and you’ll see the world from their perspective. You’ll understand where they come from and where they want to go. You’ll know what drives them, and the purpose they live their life for.
The Golden Circle follows closely with how substantial and sustainable change must work from the inside out. It begins with why, manifests in how, and ends in a tangible what.
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»FM Takeaway: Change must come from the inside out. Remember that change is a challenge, a choice, and a chase. Regardless of what you’re changing or who you’re changing, never forget the reason why you’re changing.
