(Life has been so crazy that I haven’t had much time to write. Here’s a post to break my hiatus!)

You are as good as you push yourself to be, and as capable as the community you surround yourself with. 

An interesting phenomenon that I’ve noticed with myself is that I tend to perform at a similar level to my collaborators/competitors. In sports, video games, music, and so much more, I find I underestimate how much my community influences my performance. 

Place me with an amateur tennis player and I’ll goof around. Put me with someone who regularly competes and I’ll even surprise myself with how well I can keep up. Place me with amateur Halo players and I won’t take the game seriously. Put me with MLG and experienced players and I’ll throw everything I have to give them a worthy opponent. Place me with amateur musicians, and I won’t commit myself to much. Put me with extraordinary musicians and I’ll deliver a performance like none other. The list goes on, but the phenomenon is consistent. Surrounding myself with a amateur, or even average, crowd will result in subpar performance because I won’t be challenged. Surrounding myself with a veteran or expert that challenges me and I’ll be tremendously motivated.

Which brings me to tonight. 

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I attended an event called Speak Out And Geek Out, a mixer for local entrepreneurs that featured Winslow Sargeant (appointed by President Obama as Chief Counsel for Advocacy for the US Small Business Administration) as the keynote speaker and Jonathan Sposato (Founder of Picnik). I was probably the only person in the room younger than 30 years old, but I had an absolute blast. 

It would have been easy for me to get lost in the crowd- I was in a room with highly successful entrepreneurs and incredibly sharp minds. For the first few minutes of the mixer, things were a little awkward. I had difficulty introducing myself to people and only met 3 people in my first 10 minutes. I could have just sat on the couch and played on my iPhone, but something inside of me drove me to put my inhibitions aside and just go for it. I ended up forcing myself to meet people by throwing myself into conversations/talking groups. My legs would literally walk me over to a group of people and plant me there while they awkwardly looked at their newcomer, and to avoid even more awkwardness my mouth would rush to say something while my right hand instinctively reached for a handshake. Thankfully, I only did this twice before I felt confident and capable. With my confidence from I stepped up to ask the last question during Dr. Sargeant’s Q&A about students and what the startup climate will be like in two years. Jonathan (from above) later remarked that he thought it was a great question to end on. 

By the end of the night, I had conversations with at least 10 people. It wasn’t hard to stand out- I was wearing my electric blue Express shirt and everyone knew me as the Business/Informatics student who got to ask the last question. I had talked to Dr. Sargeant, Jonathan, the Startup Weekend organizing team, a journalist/speaker who works for Intersect and helped run the event, a former Microsoft employee who went on to start his own company, and more. Each of these people were incredibly inspiring and served as excellent role models for who/where I want to be a few years down the road.

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I’ve participated in events with people more than twice my age numerous times before, but tonight was special. I went to the event alone- I had no idea what to expect and didn’t know who I would meet. My performance tonight took every bit of social ability I knew from years of business and psychology. My confidence alone wouldn’t have been enough, I needed the substance (what) to complete my actions (how). Becoming confident in these situations and interacting with people who can be intimidating because of their resumes/accomplishments isn’t a skill you develop overnight, it’s something that takes time to build. Fortunately for me, I’ve been working on it since high school.  

Lately, I’ve been feeling disillusioned and feeling a loss of direction. Though I was excited about what I was doing, I was having tremendous difficulty motivating myself. Sure, part of it was finishing up sophomore year, but I knew it was more than that. 

Tonight I walked in expecting to hear someone speak and quickly duck out. Little did I expect getting to meet such high caliber individuals, one of whom sat down with me for over 20 minutes to give me advice. What he told me was more valuable than everything I’ve learned in two years of business school classes combined, and I was surprised that a stranger would be so willing to do so much for me. 

Additionally, everyone I spoke to told me how they wished they had been like me when they were my age and attended these sort of events. If people you admire are telling you they wish they had been more like you when they were younger, you know you’re doing something right. 

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FM Takeaway: To move forward and make the most of your life, you need to do two things:

1. Understand how much of an influence your community has- surround yourself with the right people that aren’t where you are now but where you want to be in the future.
2. Place yourself in challenging, uncomfortable situations that will push you beyond what you think you are capable of. Figure out your limits, then cross them.